Mr. Glitterati

Gumball HQ has spoken and Mr. Glitterati will be a participant in the 2010 Gumball Rally. The route for the 2010 Gumball 3000 rally is now confirmed and the gird is officially open. The rally will begin in London on the 1st of May, before taking in Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Montreal, and Toronto before finally rounding off in New York seven long days and nights later – basically, 3000 miles across some of the finest scenery in Europe, Scandinavia, Canada, and the US.

Working with my friends at Supercar Life and the Speedfactory I will have a one-of-a-kind monster machine, setting the bar high for those sure to be staring at my taillights. The original idea was complete and utter destruction of my Mercedes, but rather than crush the Benz, I would much rather race a beast. I can’t disclose the vehicle, but rest assured, it’s impressive.

That said, even with the approval and monster on wheels, there remains a catch: I need a sexy copilot.

Who out there wants her picture taken and tremendous amounts of publicity? Who out there is interested in travelling across the globe for no other reason than to race and attend five star parties?! I have presented this idea to one beautiful friend and she responded with less than enthusiasm. Maybe I didn’t take into account beautiful women aren’t necessarily excited to spend a week in an automobile, no matter how cool the car is. I will continue to talk it out and will certainly keep you posted on my results.

Prepare for the time of a lifetime!

Gentlemen’s clubs have a long, proud history of innovation, from the earth-shattering invention of the “Live Nude Girls!” slogan to the brave young women who gave their lives attempting the first Helicopter. Luckily, that spark of genius remains alive and well today, and it’s about to change everything one more time.

We give you the first free lap dance, now being hatched at the soft-open den of iniquity (slash research lab) known as Lollypop’s with every second drink.

The spot itself is a modern update to the refined establishments you know so well, nestled in the former Mile High Club space with a catwalk-and-private-room setup that should be pleasantly familiar. But around the time you finish your second drink, you may notice a comely young dancer approaching you with a decidedly come-hither stare, and leading you to a more secluded corner for a little quality time on the house. In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s the future.

Of course, man does not live by private dances alone, so the folks behind the one-way glass have thrown in a few curveballs to keep your attention, like regular afterhours lingerie parties and the odd visits from burlesque troupes. If you want something even more spectacular (and, compared to a burlesque show, that’s a tall order), stop by for the grand opening on Halloween: to mark the occasion, a motorcycle-riding daredevil will jump over the building, Knievel-style.

Fortunately, he’ll be fully clothed.